Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Lifetime Conversation
Love isn’t an act, it’s a whole life. It’s staying with her now because she needs you; it’s knowing you and she will still care about each other when sex and daydreams, fights and futures—when all that’s on the shelf and done with. Love—why, I’ll tell you what love is: it’s you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one, each of you listening for the other’s step in the next room, each afraid that a sudden silence, a sudden cry, could mean a lifetime’s talk is over.
— Brian Moore, The Luck of Ginger Coffey
True love is a lifetime of conversation
Even when I am sick
Even when you are sick, if you have found the right one, they will take care of you and love you regardless of your infectious undesirable illness. <3
Application for permission to date my daughter. HILARIOUS!!!
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH___________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA___________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #______________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE_________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
____________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ____________________________
If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend _________________________________________________
How often you attend ______________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? _________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
____________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_______________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
Author unknown. One person says that this "was written by John Sherbondy of Council Bluffs, Iowa. It appeared in his wifes column in the Nonpareil Newspaper called Kippies Corner." (abt. 1993) I've tried to contact Mr. Sherbondy to confirm but haven't succeeded yet.
Facebook Relationship Changes
Over a year it's interesting to see when people change their relationship statuses. Here is a pictorial graph to help you see...
Check this out...
handwrittenheart.com
This website has letters of love and real feelings and emotions expressed in words.
CHECK IT OUT
There are creepers out there...
Bahahaha... only a good friend would try and stop you from going to jail due to Facebook creeping.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Greatest complaint by a wife EVER
And I Thought Windows Vista Had Issues…
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0,NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default toGrumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Scenarios...
Some people really feel as though this is how it goes. If you don't it still gives some comic relief.
A few cute pictures to make your day better
 |
| Sometimes all it takes is just to know someone is there to help you out |
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| The words, sometimes, speak for themselves. No need for fluff or decoration to make this phrase stand out. |
|
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| THE BEACH BOYS "Forever" |
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Girls are like trees
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
Go here to view the original tree and words.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1FZn9F/phocks.org/stumble/girlsarelike.php
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
Go here to view the original tree and words.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1FZn9F/phocks.org/stumble/girlsarelike.php
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Silly
Silly, as I have always said, is the best way to live life. Why not enjoy that fun, laughter, and joy with the person you love?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Amazing...
If everyone could find that one person who makes them irresistibly happy, the world would be a better place.
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